ZThemes

Concave Butts

My dad wants a concave butt, but I'm glad mine is so round and supple.
Science, Puns, Hannibal, et al.

class-snuggle:

My roommate bought a pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper yesterday, in addition to the half dozen we already had, and stored all of them in the bathroom. And just let me tell you, there’s something incredibly calming and reassuring about looking next to you while you’re on the toilet and seeing 30 rolls of toilet paper sitting there. You get a feeling like, no matter how bad shit gets in there, you’re always going to make it out okay in the end.

brianabizzare:

My 3rd grade teacher once told me to read the books that are the the most damaged on the outside because you can tell by the damage its been read by a lot of people, and there’s usually a great story on the inside.
This advice hasn’t failed me yet.

(Source: bri-g124)

deplaisant:

dangerhamster:

the fact that people are like “Coca Cola supports racial equality, I’m not going to be drinking Coca Cola anymore” and “Google supports gay rights I’m not going to use them anymore” like what next “the Earth provides Oxygen to ethnic minorities I’m going to stop breathing in protest”

Hopefully

You ever consider getting a tattoo of my face on your back like some yakuza shit

— someone just FB messaged this to mY MOM

posted Apr.23.14 + 4 notes + reblog

wickershire:

swanjolras:

HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)

BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!

so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:

  • in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
  • shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
  • lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
  • uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
  • ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
  • aliens.
  • ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS

amydentata:

southern-feminism:

Inclusive children go far.

Kids are too smart for this school crap.

amydentata:

southern-feminism:

Inclusive children go far.

Kids are too smart for this school crap.

thegirllostinspace:

eighthdoctor:

macyaudenstarr:

Happy Earth Day!

And all I can picture is Cecil stealing Carlos’ computer and Carlos getting it back ten minutes later and looking at his screen and saying,
"Cecil what did you do.”
"How did you hack the Tumblr servers."
"Cecil why.”
"My hard drive is oozing fluid what is going on."
Cecil just says, very seriously, “The people had to be informed.”

Heed Cecil’s advice:

thegirllostinspace:

eighthdoctor:

macyaudenstarr:

Happy Earth Day!

And all I can picture is Cecil stealing Carlos’ computer and Carlos getting it back ten minutes later and looking at his screen and saying,

"Cecil what did you do.”

"How did you hack the Tumblr servers."

"Cecil why.”

"My hard drive is oozing fluid what is going on."

Cecil just says, very seriously, “The people had to be informed.”

Heed Cecil’s advice:

image

istoleyourpanties:

quarterclever:

especiallygoodfinder:

nepeter:

australians dont have sex

australians mate

I spat out my coffee

sorry about your image

frICK

(Source: shalrath)

antoinettemalificus:

windexbottles:

its like he entered another realm omg wtf

TURDIS. 

(Source: sizvideos)

courfeycute:

but just imagine a ghost that no one can see that catches an item thats flying towards someone right before it hits their face but no one can see the ghost so people start to thin k that person can make stuff float around and the ghoST IS SO ADORABLY AWKWARD IT JUST SORTA FOLLOWS THAT PERSON AROUND AND WHENEVER SOMEONE IS LIKE “duDE MAKE THAT PENCIL FLOAT” THE GHOST JUST SIGHS AND PICKS IT UP

(Source: courfeycute)